Now this is the kind of scathing review I love (from Lipglossiping)

Most of the reviews of the new Rimmel liquid lipsticks (Apocalips in the U.K., Show Off Lip Lacquer in the U.S.) say they have a light fruity scent and aren't drying. So I probably would have tried them, and then, like the Milani lipstick with their 'light fruity scent' that reminds me of fake-watermelon-flavored vomit, I would have hated them. Lipglossiping says: "Smell and taste are so closely linked, that if something smells bad… it often tastes bad too and I just don’t want this genetically-modified Jolly Rancher crap on my lips with its faux fruit salad gooeyness mere centimeters from my nostrils." Be still my fucking heart. Tell me what you really think! Read more about what she hates here.

You Smell: Treat Yourself Cheaply (Juliette Has A Gun Discovery Kit)

If you want to get yourself a cheap treat/bribe for finally vacuuming/prize for having the hottest ass in the whole fucking country/reward for knowing more about foreign affairs than all those assholes at work who never shut their damned mouths, you could do worse than the Juliette Has A Gun Discovery Kit. You'll get nine 2 ml vials of fragrance for 10 euros (about $13). All of their scents are amazing. A lot of them are made up of ingredients that I didn't think I liked (like patchouli or musk), but they manage to do something magical with them. These are not fruity, flirty, girly scents. They suit their names (Lady Vengeance, Mad Madam, etc.). I feel like a badass when I wear them. And I just like to smell different (good) things, so this was fun for me. They each come in a little envelope with a lovely notecard with its "olfactive description" eccentrically translated from the French. Sex-ay.

Unfortunately, one of my vials broke during transit (they ship from France). I could still smell it in the envelope, and it turned out to be the one I liked least anyway (Calamity J). Just be warned that that can happen. Oh, and if you decide to buy a full size bottle of one of these within two months of ordering the kit, the cost of the kit will be deducted from your purchase. The full sizes are not very cheap, though.

Fragrance: Is it really the devil?

I'm not so into the smell of my unscented rosehip oil. It's pretty mild, but I figured it would make a more pleasant bedtime ritual if I could mix it with something that smells better. So I popped over to Paula Begoun's site to look at her list of skincare ingredients to try to find something that smells nice and won't damage my skin.

According to Paula, nothing. All of the scented oils etc. are damaging. Here's what she says: "Fragrances, whatever their form, added to personal-care products, impart their scent via volatile compounds. When applied to skin, they react, causing irritation that may or may not be visible on the skin's surface. [...] You may not see the reaction on the surface of your skin from the fragrance in skin-care products, but that doesn't mean the damage isn't silently occurring." [Ed.: Does skin irritation ever make a noise?]

So basically, fuck everything. Is it really so bad as all that? If I put anything on my skin that smells okay, am I going to regret it someday?

The Beauty Brains have a slightly different take: "While many people are allergic to fragrance ingredients and would do well to avoid products with fragrances in them, there is no reason that everyone should avoid fragranced products. Fragrances make the product experience more enjoyable and if they don’t bother your skin, feel free to keep using them."

They also comment that it seems "strangely coincidental" that Paula Begoun sells only fragrance-free products in her skincare line and has such harsh advice about fragrance. I think a more charitable interpretation would be that she doesn't include fragrance in her products because she feels so strongly about it. But I can't read her mind.

Anyway, this is one of these points where you're pretty much going to have to weight the risks you are willing to take and decide for yourself. If you have sensitive skin or allergies, you might want to avoid all fragrances just in case. If you don't, and you take other precautions, such as not smoking and wearing sunscreen regularly, then maybe rubbing some nice-smelling shit on your face isn't going to turn you into an unsightly hag. 

As for me, fragrance isn't something I'm going to go out of my way to avoid, unless it's overly perfumey. And that's mainly just because I don't like a lot of scents and have a sensitive nose. Like baby powder, and whatever Philosophy's Hope in a Jar is supposed to smell like. Barf. Personally, I think if an attractive scent is going to make you more likely to use something that's good for your skin on a regular basis, that probably outweighs the (miniscule) potential for "silent" irritation and damage. I'll stick with my stinky $10 rosehip oil for now. It's not so bad, really.

You Smell: Celebrity Perfume

Okay, this is kind of embarrassing. A little. Maybe? But anyway, this is my "signature scent" or whatever. The perfume I wear most of the time when I wear perfume. It's Live Luxe by Jennifer Lopez.

I mean, if I were going to be all fancy and spendthrift, I would wear this, instead. But this JLo shit actually smells really, really good. Give it a shot. It's surprising. The last time I bought it was when I randomly decided to ask the guy at the counter in JC Penney if they had any, and for some reason it was on sale for $8. It was like fate, so I bought two bottles. Usually it's $20-40.

And for what it's worth, dudes always comment on how good I smell when I wear it. I mean, not creepy stranger dudes, but the ones I want to sleep with and/or have slept with.

What's your favorite affordable scent?

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