Guest Post from Savannah Scorpion: Unpopular Opinions about Animal Testing

Hello!

 

It's time for anther guest post from yours truly Savannah Scorpion, America's Favorite Retail Drone (TM). This time, I'm writing about animal testing, and why I'm somewhat critical of brands that brag about being "cruelty free". This is a very sensitive issue, I will be discussing animal cruelty, which can be triggering for readers. If you get upset or overwhelmed by this post, please stop reading and take care of yourself, and look at cute pictures of animals, such as my cat.

 

[Ed. Note: Oh my god, so fucking cute.]

Guest Post from Savannah Scorpion: Do I Need This? Customer Loyalty Programs

The enigmatic and magnanimous Savannah Scorpion is back with more of the insider scoop on how to buy beauty products without throwing your fucking money away. As always, comment below or email with any questions or future topics you'd like her to address! 

Hello again!

This is Savannah Scorpion, your friendly neighborhood seller of Expensive Cosmetic Shit, back with another post. 

I was invited to send a picture, and I chose a film still from Butterfield 8. While I do not look like Elizabeth Taylor, I have been tempted to write rather nasty things in lipstick on men's mirrors/car windshields. The only thing that has stopped me is that most of the lippies in my collection are pricey, and I'll be damned if I waste one of my $25 Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencils on damaging the property of some hipster douchebag. I think I'm going to buy one of the $1 e.l.f lipsticks and designate that as my official "Writing On Glass Surfaces" lipstick. [I should add that to my review as a possible use. - Ed.]

Anyway....

I'm sure y'all have been offered to sign up for different loyalty programs at different restaurants and grocery stores. Cosmetics retailers have loyalty programs, and I'll give you the rundown on how they work. Do you need them? Yes. Even if you don't buy cosmetics all that much.