Reviews in Fifty Words or Less

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I got this idea from the wonderful Makeup Withdrawal, and I'm going to give it a shot. It will be a challenge for someone as wordy as I am, but I don't think I have a lot to say about these products, so here we go!

Yves Saint Laurent Touche Eclat Radiance Perfecting Pen in Luminous Ivory

Sheer, slightly luminous concealer that I use on lazy days. Makes me look less dead but doesn’t cover my dark circles completely. Faint lavender fragrance. Came from a Sephora Favorites set, but I wouldn’t buy it at full price. Lots of cheap equivalents work exactly the same way.

            

Maybelline The Falsies Volum'Express Mascara

Decent volume and length without clumping. The curved brush and length of the bristles work well.

I've been liking this better in month two as it gets drier. Too much flaking for me to repurchase, though.

Wet N Wild Mattifying Powder

Does the job: mattifies, invisible on my skin, fine texture. The main problem is that it contains very little product. I've used it only a couple dozen times.

It looks thick because there’s a sponge in the bottom compartment, but the pan is shallow.

For less than $5 you can get more product from Essence.

Bobbie Brown Long-Wear Cream Shadow Stick in Golden Pink

Got this in a Sephora Play! box. Not really pink--I'd call it peachy-beige. It's a nice, all-over-the-lid eyeshadow, and it lasts better than any other cream eyeshadow I've used, even without primer. Could make a good highlighter, too.

Swatched:

Blended out:

Neutrogena Ultra Light Cleansing Oil

It's ok. I bought it for double cleansing, but it's a little drying, so I only use it combined with gentle micellar water. It removes most of my makeup. The generic fruity-floral scent is a bit strong--and I always end up tasting it after I've rinsed my face. Blech.

Success! Of course, if you have questions about any of these products, I'd be happy to fill in the blanks. I'm also interested to hear your experiences with them, or recommendations for alternatives, as always. 

Why did no one tell me that Maybelline Color Tattoo in Vintage Plum sucks so much?

Disclosure: Affiliate links.

I picked this up semi-impulsively at CVS a few weeks ago. By which I mean that I'd thought about buying it before and then once CVS had some kind of sale, I grabbed it without doing any further research. I remembered reading mostly positive reviews of the Leather collection of Color Tattoos, though some reviews mentioned that a couple of the shades were a little streaky. Really, I should have looked up reviews before I bought this, but in this case, I don't think it would have saved me much grief. Most of the reviews I have subsequently found are rather glowing ("must have!"), though if I had encountered this particular review of Vintage Plum, I might have given it a second or third thought. Because this eyeshadow is straight up garbage.

Either there are variations in the quality of Vintage Plum, other people have magic powers, or . . . I won't say, but you can probably guess what I think the real reason for the positive reviews of this crap is. It's so streaky that it's utterly impossible to use. I don't think it would make a lot of difference whether you have a different skin type, because it's almost as streaky swatching on my arm, which is not oily like my eyelids--but I'd be interested to hear if anyone has made this work.

I read some suggestions that Vintage Plum is similar to Tough as Taupe, but it's really not, either in color or in performance. Vintage Plum looks almost pinkish-taupe in the jar, but when you apply it, it's a greyed-out purple that's patchy as fuck. Tough as Taupe, even from my pot that is a couple of years old, is a smoothly-opaque taupe. It may look a little uneven in the swatch, but it's easy to blend out evenly on my eyelid. Vintage Plum, however, is a nightmare. Below is as good as I could get it to look. The photo was taken within minutes of application; it's not that the eyeshadow has worn off like this. This is how it went on.

This eyeshadow has a creamy texture in the pot, but becomes terribly patchy and streaky when I try to apply it. There's no way to make it work. The photo above is applied over primer, but it was the same without. It dries very quickly and then flakes, so it's hard to blend--when I try, it rubs right off. Yet despite setting quickly, it nevertheless disappears in patches after it dries like some overly creamy products do. If I try to just apply a light wash, it's still streaky and it balls up when I blend it out. If I try to add a second layer, it removes the first layer and gets even more patchy. I suppose some people might use this as a base for other colors, but really what's the point? I don't want to cover it up. And I already use primer to intensify my eyeshadow, so an additional layer is unnecessary.

SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING.

It's especially frustrating, because I love love love the color. Many purples are too red for me, but this is very greyed out, while remaining definitely purple, not taupe or pink. If I ignore the mess, the color is really flattering on me. Of course that means I'm searching for dupes and having a hard time finding anything comparable. Urban Decay Cult looks like a real possibility, but it's discontinued. As is MAC Dove Feather. The taupe in my Wet N Wild Silent Treatment trio is not purplish enough. Laura Mercier Plum Smoke is too warm/brown. I guess Kryolan Dusk might work, but I don't know if I am ready to gamble $22 (with shipping) on an eyeshadow single. Help??

8 minute basic, work appropriate makeup routine for the lazy and/or incompetent (using affordable products)

See below for the list of products used.

Disclosure: This post contains Amazon affiliate links.
I feel like if this were a feature in a magazine, it would be called a 5-minute makeup look. But since I do not move quickly in the morning, I'd categorize it in the 8-12 minute range, to account for the time I spend staring blankly at the wall between each step. My criteria for choosing each product in this routine is what I oh-so-fucking-cleverly decided to call the "fast/last" rule. That is, it has to apply fast, and it has to last through most of the day without reapplying. Fast, for me, means minimizing the use of tools like brushes. If I can smear it directly on my face, great. Your version of the routine might include more or fewer steps, depending on what you like/need. For instance, I'm lucky enough that my skin is fairly clear, or at least there isn't too much that I really strongly feel like I need to cover up. I just go with concealer and powder when I am in a hurry. That's just me. If you prefer to use foundation etc., then you'd have to factor in the extra time for that.

By the way, the "lazy and/or incompetent" bit in the title refers to me in the morning. Also during the rest of the day, but mostly the morning.

Here's are the steps I take:

e.l.f. Studio Long-Lasting Lustrous Eyeshadow: 9 months later

I recently bitched because after several months, my e.l.f. cream eyeliners were all dried up. I realized today that I hadn't checked on the weird mousse-like eyeshadow that I bought around the same time.

Verdict: Still in perfect condition! I'm impressed. That's some nice shit.

Tricky tricky! Which package contains more product? (Eye makeup edition)

Okay, I've got another one for you. This is probably easy to guess, because I have only two products to show you. But let's take a closer look to see how makeup companies use packaging tricks to make you think you're getting more than you are.

Which one of these containers holds more product?

Left: Maybelline Color Tattoo cream eyeshadow; Right: NYX Eyeshadow base

I'm sure you guessed that the NYX pot holds more, because it looks smaller, and you know I'm talking about tricky packaging. If you have ever held these two products in your hands, you will know that not only does the Maybelline pot look larger, it feels much, much heavier. I wish I had a postal scale to weight these, but it's at least twice as heavy. That's because the Maybelline pot is glass and the NYX one is plastic. So by looking at the top of the containers and even picking them up, the Maybelline product seems bigger. That's why you really have to look at the label to understand the amount of product you're getting and its value.

The Maybelline product contains 4 g and the NYX one contains 7 g. It's not just the material the pots are made from that makes you think the first one is more generous - it's also the design of the package. The Maybelline pot has a wider diameter, and both pots are about the same height. But check this out:

Again, Maybelline on the left, NYX on the right.

While the well that the NYX product is in goes halfway to the base of the pot, the Maybelline product only starts at the bottom of the lid. If you look at the Maybelline pot from the side, you can't see any product at all. That's just a big chunk of glass with some shit sitting on top of it! This is a big, bulky pot that is not convenient to store or carry around, designed that way simply to make you feel like you're getting your money's worth. If you stick a pin into each product, it goes down about 3 mm into the Maybelline shadow and at least 11 mm into the NYX base.

These are different types of product, sure, but they both cost $7. I'm not saying you shouldn't buy the Color Tattoo (I happen to like it), but just be aware of how the packaging is designed to fool you, and how much product you're actually getting for your $7. They are nice little eyeshadows, but they are not generous portions. Tricky tricky!

(See the last installment of this series, on nail polish, here.)

What do you think? Would you have been fooled/surprised by these pots?

Fix Your Face Review: e.l.f. Studio Long-Lasting Lustrous Eyeshadow

This is an unusual eyeshadow. It's a sort of spongey, moussey, springy texture. It's not super soft or moist, so you don't have to worry about getting a big glob when you stick your finger in it. And it works best when applied with a fingertip. Without primer, it will crease if you have oily lids. But it's worth it, since you can get a nice metallic finish that will last with primer. It's also buildable. In fact, you really need to apply two layers to get a really opaque, solid finish, but you can apply the second layer immediately, so it's no trouble.