Wait, a mask that actually does something for oily skin and blackheads? Review of Freeman Feeling Beautiful Avocado and Oatmeal Facial Clay Mask

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So, I really just bought this shit on a whim. I was trying to pick out enough stuff to get free shipping on an Ulta order when I was buying some gifts for my sister and mother. I figured I'd compare it to Queen Helen's Mint Julep mask, another cheap clay mask, which I actually really don't like.

As you may know, the Mint Julep mask is a sort of cheap cult favorite. I was really disappointed with it, though. First of all, the mint is pointless. It's just there to make your skin tingle, so that you think you can "feel it working", when actually it doesn't do you any good. It just causes low-grade irritation (or burning, if you're sensitive), which damages the skin. Beyond that annoyance, it didn't do anything for me. My skin didn't look or feel any better after I used it. It just felt tight and dry and needed moisturizing.

Fix Your Face: Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain

This is Revlon’s version of Clinique and Tarte’s balm stains which sell for $16-25. The Revlon one costs $7-8. It’s good shit.

Badass Hair: Suave Professionals Dry Shampoo Spray

Dry shampoo is awesome in general. But some brands are more awesome than others. One of the cheapest and awesomest is made by Suave and costs less than $4.

If you’re lazy and don’t feel like washing your hair, you can keep it going for another day or so with this stuff. You just shake it, spray it on your roots, and rub it in. It is pretty strongly scented, but I actually like the smell a lot. If you are not a fan of citrusy scents, though, this might not work for you. But it smells the best of any of the inexpensive dry shampoos I’ve tried, in my opinion.

Your Claws: Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear Nail Polish

Really fucking cheap (usually under $3 a bottle), 3-free, fantastic colors, good brushes, awesome formula. That’s really all there is to say. It really rivals any of the higher-end polishes I’ve tried.

These are the colors I have (those teals are totally different, okay!?):

From left to right: Caribbean Coral 36, Red Carpet 390, Purple Pizzazz 490, Lacey Lilac 270, Pacific Blue 420, Marine Scene 19, The Real Teal 39, and Going Green 430.

I love them all, but Red Carpet and Purple Pizzazz are especially cool.

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Clean Up: Disposable Face Cloths (and Baby Wipes!)

I am really fucking lazy when it comes to washing my face. I do it when I shower, but I really have a hard time motivating myself to do it before bed. That means that, although I know it is terrible and wasteful and ugh, I use those pre-moistened disposable face cloths fairly often. These are the ones I’ve found to be the best so far, in terms of not clogging things up and causing breakouts, and being pretty cheap. They’re basic, not smelly, and not full of useless/irritating crap.

Your Claws: Hits No Olimpo Hefesto Holographic Topcoat

Holographic nail polish is fucking amazing. Unfortunately, it’s also usually pretty expensive. The stuff at Ulta is around $15 a bottle, I think. Here’s my solution: Hits No Olimpo Hefesto Holographic Topcoat.


Here are my swatches with two coats of Hefesto over various colors of polish:


Pretty amazing, right?

Fix Your Face: e.l.f. Studio Endless Eyes Pro Eyeshadow Palette

I got this fucking huge eyeshadow palette from Target for about $6 (on sale). It’s usually $10 on the e.l.f. website, but they always, always, always have some kind of sale going on, so even though everything is cheap as fuck to begin with, you’ll get it even cheaper.

I think this is pretty great for the price. There’s a huge range of colors, so you can experiment in all sorts of ways. There are both mattes and shimmers, and even some with some gold glimmer. The quality is decent too. Some shadows are more pigmented than others, but most of them are really good. My only complaint is that there are so many pinks and reds. Why? I think it’s a very special person who can wear a lot of pink or red on their eyes without just looking ill. I’d rather have some more greens, purples, and neutrals in place of the pinks.

Anyway, this is a great option for when you're beginning to play with eyeshadow, or if you want to branch out and figure out what colors might work for you, without investing in something too expensive that you might end up hating. You can always buy fancier versions of the colors you like best.

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Listen Up: Panasonic RP-HJE120-V In-Ear Earbud Ergo-Fit Headphone

These are the shit - for under $7. The biggest problem I have with earbuds is that I have really small earholes (ha!), and so I have tried half a dozen different types, and they all either hurt or fall out of my ears when I walk. Or both.

These have an awesome design that fits in my ear and stays, comfortably. And they come in 8 colors. And they sound great. And they are fucking cheap. I’m thinking of stocking up for when I inevitably lose the ones I have, though these have served me well for several months already.

(I forget who it was who told me about these, but whoever you are, thanks!)

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Fix Your Face: Wet N Wild Color Icon Blusher Pressed Powder Pearlescent Pink 831E

I’ve heard that this blush is a dupe for Nars Orgasm, which is the stuff every fashion magazine tells you to use, at least if you have fair skin like me. I’ve never tried the Nars blush, because fucked if I’m ever going to spend $30 on blush.

But this one from Wet ‘n’ Wild is really pretty, and looks similar, as far as I can tell. And it costs less than $3 in the drugstore (I don't advise buying it from Amazon unless you can't find it anywhere near you). It’s a warm pink with a tiny bit of gold shimmer, but the shimmer isn’t obnoxious or even very noticeable. It looks summery to me. Healthy and natural. A little warmer than what I usually wear in the winter.

Fix Your Face: Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder-Gel

Yeah, you read that right. This stuff works really well for its intended purpose, but it also makes an excellent primer for your face. In fact, its ingredients are almost identical to Smashbox Photo Finish Primer, but it usually costs less than $7. Natalie Dee has a detailed comparison of the formulas, so check it out.

Save Your Face: Paula's Choice Weightless Finish Sunscreen Spray SPF 30

So this isn’t as cheap as most of the things I recommend around here, at around $16 a bottle (though right now it’s half off! And there are frequently sales, so check often).

But it is the best. THE BEST. And one bottle of this lasts me over a year, even though I put it on my face at least 300 days a year. So you’re looking at about 5 cents a day MAX to protect your skin from cancer and wrinkles and age spots and all sort of other damaging things.

Clean Up: Static Eliminator Re-Usable Dryer Sheet System

Use these instead of disposable fabric softener sheets in your dryer. They don’t leave any residue or scent on your clothes (if you want scent, get scented laundry detergent), and they get rid of static and soften. I’ve had the same ones for about 6 years. Well, actually, I lost one of them (you’re supposed to use them both at the same time), but just one works fine. At $13, I’m sure that’s much less than I would have spent on Bounce sheets in 6 years.

Fix Your Face: Avon GLAZEWEAR Lip Gloss

Just plain great stuff. It’s smooth, shiny, and not sticky. It has absolutely no scent or flavor. When I go out in the wind, my hair doesn’t stick to my face. There’s nothing I hate more than that. Okay, maybe a few things, but that’s annoying. And this goop lasts! Hours, if you’re not eating, and maybe even if you are.

When I bought the 4 tubes of this that I have now, it was on sale for $2.50. Right now it’s $6 and buy one get one half price. Stock up! It comes in a ton of shades. I honestly think it’s much better than any higher end lip gloss I own.

Nailed: Glimmery Zoya dupes(ish): Sienna, Meiko, Dannii, Charla

You can find dupes (i.e. duplicates) for expensive and popular nail polish colors all over the internet. Lots of bloggers will post comparison photos to determine if two polishes are really exactly the same or not. I’m not going to do that, because for the most part, I don’t buy expensive nail polish. I have an obscenely large collection (or at least verging on obscene), but it’s almost all drugstore stuff. The exceptions are a few bottles I got when Zoya and Butter London had their huge sales, or ones I got as gifts (I refuse to say “gifted to me”).

I had to stop looking at nail polish blogs every day, because doing so forced me (FORCED ME!) to make a list of polishes I want to buy, and it was getting really long. It was making me covet, basically. And I mostly can’t justify paying $8+ for a bottle of nail polish when I don’t have to. I’ve been able to cross four of the amazing glitter/shimmer (glimmer!) Zoya polishes off my list by buying cheap drugstore versions. That’s what I have for you today.

Note: I’m not too particular about whether or not these are exact dupes. To me, they are close enough, but they might be slightly lighter, darker, redder, bluer, etc. than the Zoyas. I’m posting pictures from reputable nail bloggers, so you can compare them yourself. What they all are is CHEAP. And BLINDINGLY SHINY.

Here are swatches of all four cheap polishes (3 coats each). From left to right: Wet ‘n’ Wild FastDry 9.0.2.1.Orange, dupe of Zoya Sienna (photo at The PolishAholic); Spoiled Shrimp on the Barbie, near dupe of Zoya Meiko (photo at Also Known As); Spoiled Are Mermaids Real?, dupe of Zoya Dannii (photo at Scrangie); and Essence Choose Me!, dupe of Zoya Charla (photo at Scrangie). ETA: Essence Choose Me! is no longer available. See here instead! The first 3 I bought at CVS for 99 cents - $1.99 each, and the Essence one from Ulta in a mini bottle for 99 cents.

Direct sunlight:

Clean Up: Softsoap Body Wash, Juicy Pomegranate and Mango Infusions

This stuff smells awesome. It’s juicy and fresh and fruity without smelling like candy and making me want to eat it. It’s better than any fancy Philosophy/Body Shop/Bath and Body Works etc. crap I’ve tried. And it’s under $6 for a huge bottle. Plus it has those tiny bead things in it. Those must do something, right? Okay, probably not.

I currently have at least four nearly full bottles of body wash that are not this, and I am determined to finish them all before I buy any more, which makes me very sad. They are all inferior! But I challenge you to take a whiff of this stuff when you see it on a store shelf and not be compelled to take it home.

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Badass Hair: Dove Nutritive Therapy, Nourishing Oil Care Leave In Smoothing Cream

This shit is … the shit. The ridiculously-priced, pure, Oil of Aragorn (mmmm Viggo) or whatever is nice, but you don’t need it. This is under $6 and it will make your hair all pretty and shiny and soft.

Here’s how I tested it: I went to Memphis for a vacation (omg so much BBQ) and didn’t pack conditioner, because I was like, I’m staying in a nice-ish hotel. They’ll provide it. But no, there was only shampoo. However, because I order free samples online like a fiend, I had a little sample packet of this stuff in my suitcase. I just shampooed with the weak-ass hotel shampoo and used this as leave in conditioner every day for a week, and my hair was amazing. Better than usual. That’s a testimonial.

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