Monday, August 31, 2015

The last word on minimalism and decluttering

Maybe you're one of the seemingly countless people who are really into minimalism these days. Or maybe you're like me and have been wishing you were into minimalism, because you just had to move all of your fucking property twice within a two week period and now you live surrounded by overflowing boxes and bags in a chaotic hell of your own making. That's when living the monastic lifestyle looks most appealing, I think. Either way, read this and then do everything it tells you to do, because otherwise you will never be happy.

10 comments:

  1. Lol, it's timely. Minimalist fantasies are just so fun though. And being mad at badly packaged lotions? HELL YEAH.

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    1. Yes, the crusty chunk of lotion that hangs at the end of the pump is really unforgivable! I think finding practical ways to get rid of unnecessary crap is great, but at some extremes it seems to just turn into a different (privileged) way to obsess about possessions. I think it works best as fantasy combined with some realistic action!

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  2. I'm moving myself this week and I have to say, getting rid of ALL THE STUFF is awfully appealing right now.

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    1. Yessss. I almost feel like I would sleep and eat on the floor happily if it meant never moving all this shit again.

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  3. Replies
    1. Mallory Ortberg does come up with some gems!

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  4. Hmm, so I understand militant minimalism is incredibly annoying (just like any other forced trend), but to be honest, I didn't really find this all that funny - are minimalists all supposed to be fans of spritiual mumbo jumbo and kale? It's more of a hipster satire to me, I guess.

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    1. Yes, hipster satire is probably a good description for a lot of what gets published on The Toast. It's not for everyone (and not always for me, either). But I understood this post as satirizing the extreme versions of the movement and taking it to the point of absurdity in a lighthearted way, rather than mocking everyone interested in decluttering. It's probably also a bit self-deprecating, since there must be a lot of overlap between the readers of The Toast and people interested in minimalism.

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  5. "Look at the moon. That’s all of the spice you need." I love it. Though my favorite Mallory Ortberg piece of all time is, of course, "My Female Students Don't Seem As Impressed With Me As They Used To."

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    1. Omg, thank you! I missed that one somehow. Brilliant!

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