Why you don't need to buy fucking eye cream (from Paula's Choice)

It boils down to eye creams usually just being more expensive moisturizers, and the skin around your eyes not being any more special then the rest of your face. Read the rest here (I'm not sure, but you may need to be logged into Facebook to view the link.)

Mostly unrelated: I apologize that there hasn't been much going on around here lately besides announcements of sales and links to other blogs. I hope you find that shit useful, but I do have many, many more substantial posts planned but not yet executed.

I've been swamped the past while. I don't like to reveal too much about my identity (because it makes me feel special? powerful? enigmatic?), but let's just say I have a major, years-long writing project finally coming to a near-close in the next week or two, and at the same time I am holding the hands of some extremely neurotic young perfectionists while they attempt to write their own little masterpieces. I AM SO MYSTERIOUS. Anyway, fucking busy, will write more crap about makeup soon.

Interview with an Insider: Savannah Scorpion reveals what it's like to sell expensive beauty shit (with tips for how to get what you want)

The beautiful and mysterious Savannah Scorpion (not her real name . . . or is it?) recently contacted me with an offer to provide a beauty industry insider's perspective from the retail side. YES PLEASE. First off, I thought we'd do a little Q and A to introduce our guest and to start you off with some of the advice she considers particularly important. If you've ever considered working in cosmetics retail, this is some useful shit - and of course, very valuable for those of us who are consumers, too. I hope that in future, she'll provide us with some topical guest posts, so if you have anything you'd especially like to hear about, please do leave a comment.

Savannah Scorpion (I don't actually know what she looks like, but I imagine it's something like this).

(Or this.)

Cheap as Fuck: Thanks for offering to share an insider perspective with us. First a few questions about you. Anything you want to start out with to introduce yourself?

SS: My name is Savannah Scorpion (okay, not my real name, but it should be), and I am a recent art school graduate, makeup fiend, and former tour guide who now works selling expensive products to the rich and gullible. I am one of those people who wears a full face of makeup everywhere, all the time (even during sex). I also do a lot of writing, social justice work, and to quote Dale from KOTH, I am an expert hater.

CaF: You sound fucking awesome. Makeup during sex, yes. I mean, who has time to remove it in advance, anyway? By the way, this is my favorite sex mascara, because it doesn't smear at all when things get appropriately sweaty. Unless smeary is the post-sex look you're going for, which is totally legit - and kind of hot, honestly.

Shitty makeup review from xoVain is called out by commenters (but they don't say anything about the "everything expensive is better" bullshit)

See, this is what I was talking about! First of all, the writer goes off on a rant about how more expensive products are better and you won't find anything as good at the drugstore and don't even bother trying to tell her otherwise, la la la la la not listening! She actually says, "No. Stop. Don’t. You’re not going to win this one, I don’t care how many upvotes you get." Plus a lot of nonsense about drugstore makeup being full of "fillers" etc. Um.

If I were to do an April Fool's post, it would be to tell you to go buy Kinerase products on HauteLook today

$69 for 2.8 oz. of daily moisturizer that doesn't have SPF? And that's 45% off the regular price? Are you fucking kidding me? It'd better transplant Zooey Dechanel's face right on to my fucking head for that price.

Maybe they're pranking us?

You need an account to browse HauteLook, so here's an invite link (because I can't link you directly to the product page). But seriously: don't buy that.

Do I need this? Special Pregnancy Polish

Here is the latest installment of "Do I Need This?", a series about new and trendy beauty products (or just those that might be unfamiliar and baffling to both of us). I'll offer my experience and opinion about whether or not I think the product under consideration is worth shelling out for. Obviously, you don't need ANY beauty products, so the answer is always going to be no, a little bit. But is it going to change your life (or face)? Is it going to make things easier? Are you going to notice any difference at all if you use it? That's what I'm getting at. You may disagree with my verdict, because we all have different bodies/faces/brains/desires, but I'll try to give you a starting point at least.

Short answer: Fuck no.

Another reason to look for affordable sunscreen

Think about it. If you buy a $40 tube of sunscreen, even if it's wonderful, aren't you going to have the urge, at least a little bit, to be stingy with it? To make it last? To not go overboard, not use more than absolutely necessary, not have to replace it right away?

That totally defeats the purpose of sunscreen. You are supposed to apply it liberally and thoroughly. Everywhere on your face and neck that's exposed. Everywhere else that's exposed too! You can't do that if it hurts you to squeeze out a huge glob from your fancyass "prestige" tube.

And there are perfectly good sunscreens available at all price points. Just a do a little searching on a site like Beautypedia and find one that does what you want it to do. And then USE it.

Don't Bother With ProActiv (from Slate)

Here's an excerpt from this article on why ProActiv is overpriced at best and a scam at worst:

Marcotte: I suspect a lot of people are wary of buying skin care products sold on TV, but they sign up for Proactiv because the ads do a good job of implying that it is better than anything else on the market for clearing up acne. Is it?

Romanowski: No. They use standard (effective) technology, but their products are not better than the stuff you could buy at Target or Wal-Mart. Anti-acne products are over-the-counter drugs regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. Manufacturers are limited in the technologies and claims they can use.

Bloggers are not usually skin care experts, fyi.

If you catch me saying, "You need to do X to have good skin," or "Everyone should use [product] to improve their skin," without linking you to any good studies or articles that cite good studies, please slap me.

The Best and Worst Skin-Care Products of 2012 according to Paula's Choice

Good evidence that more expensive is not necessarily (or even usually) better.

(You need a Facebook account to view this, I think.)

Fix Your Face: Lip Scrub

People really pay $25 for this stuff? Really?

I mean, from the perspective of the (many, many) companies selling this sort of shit, it's brilliant. People pay $25 for this stuff! GENIUS.

Possibly my favorite gif.

But seriously, just put a little sugar (brown or white) in the palm of your hand and mix it with a few drops of honey or olive oil. Rub that on your lips. I do it when I exfoliate in the shower.

Or use a soft toothbrush.

And then put on some really good moisturizing lip balm. I like this one, because it works extremely well, it's huge, and it smells like buttercream frosting.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.

Daily Dose of No Bullshit: The Beauty Brains

Have I mentioned this awesome site before? It’s written by a group of cosmetic scientists, some more skeptical than others, and they will tell you if the shit people are trying to tell you actually works or not. SCIENCE.

Daily Dose of No Bullshit: The Beauty Brains

Anti-Aging Myths from Beauty With Brains

Anti-Aging Myths from Beauty With Brains