Interview with an Insider: Savannah Scorpion reveals what it's like to sell expensive beauty shit (with tips for how to get what you want)

The beautiful and mysterious Savannah Scorpion (not her real name . . . or is it?) recently contacted me with an offer to provide a beauty industry insider's perspective from the retail side. YES PLEASE. First off, I thought we'd do a little Q and A to introduce our guest and to start you off with some of the advice she considers particularly important. If you've ever considered working in cosmetics retail, this is some useful shit - and of course, very valuable for those of us who are consumers, too. I hope that in future, she'll provide us with some topical guest posts, so if you have anything you'd especially like to hear about, please do leave a comment.

Savannah Scorpion (I don't actually know what she looks like, but I imagine it's something like this).

(Or this.)

Cheap as Fuck: Thanks for offering to share an insider perspective with us. First a few questions about you. Anything you want to start out with to introduce yourself?

SS: My name is Savannah Scorpion (okay, not my real name, but it should be), and I am a recent art school graduate, makeup fiend, and former tour guide who now works selling expensive products to the rich and gullible. I am one of those people who wears a full face of makeup everywhere, all the time (even during sex). I also do a lot of writing, social justice work, and to quote Dale from KOTH, I am an expert hater.

CaF: You sound fucking awesome. Makeup during sex, yes. I mean, who has time to remove it in advance, anyway? By the way, this is my favorite sex mascara, because it doesn't smear at all when things get appropriately sweaty. Unless smeary is the post-sex look you're going for, which is totally legit - and kind of hot, honestly.