I don't need this: Review of The Ordinary Vitamin C Suspension 23% + HA Spheres 2% and The Ordinary Caffeine Solution 5% + EGCG

Yes, I just wrote a post about over-consumption in skincare, and now I'm reviewing a couple of products from one of the trendiest brands of the moment. But this is also a post about not trying to use things you I should know won't work for you me. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes, since I obviously can't.

The first of the two products I'm reviewing here is The Ordinary's Vitamin C Suspension 23% + HA Spheres 2%. Emi from Project Swatch kindly gave me her tube when I expressed interest after her review, in which she found she didn't like using it because of the grittiness. For some reason I wanted to test my mettle against the unappealing texture, since I can usually stand weird products so long as I use them at night. I won't go into all of the technical details of how this product is supposed to work, but I will direct you to this excellent and thorough review of 27 products from The Ordinary. You can also read about them on Deciem's website (the company that makes The Ordinary), but I will point out that that they often make little attempt to provide really accessible information--and in fact, I think this is part of their marketing plan. Is there a word like "greenwashing" for marketing that presents everything in a very technical, scientific way, to make it sound more advanced and unique? I mean look at the product names. Broken down to basics, maybe, but hardly ordinary.

In general, vitamin C is supposed to "brighten" by fading extra pigmentation, and to prevent or repair sun damage. Here's a great explanation of antioxidant effects from Lab Muffin (still sciency, but a much better presentation than Deciem's). And here's where I went wrong. How many products do I own that claim to "brighten" skin? I don't even want to count. How many times have I actually noticed a difference in my skin as a result of using a brightening product? Rarely-to-never. I don't have hyper-pigmentation or dark spots or the usual things that brightening products are meant to brighten. And so while I don't think that it was completely useless to use this particular product, because I probably got some invisible preventative effects from the antioxidants, I didn't see any noticeable improvements in my skin while using it. That doesn't mean that it doesn't work or that you won't love it! It means I didn't need it, because I already use other good antioxidant products.

Left: Review of The Ordinary Vitamin C Suspension 23% + HA Spheres 2%; Right: The Ordinary Caffeine Solution 5% + EGCG

I can tell you something about my experience of applying the Vitamin C Suspension, however, since it is an unusual product. You can read on the product page about why it feels the way it does, but I would describe the texture as feeling like a small amount of baking soda mixed into a lotion. Deciem says that it "tingles," but I would describe the sensation as more of a mild burning. I don't recommend using this stuff if you have any broken skin on your face, like a recently scabbed-over zit, because it will sting like fuck. As I hoped, the texture doesn't bother me too much. I apply a thin layer and leave it for 15-20 minutes, and then lightly apply moisturizer on top. By the time I add the moisturizer, most of the grittiness has gone away, but I still prefer to add another layer, because it's quite greasy. In fact, I can still feel the oiliness on my hands even after washing them with soap. With a more pleasant moisturizer over it, however, it feels ok while I sleep, and it washes off easily in the morning. The product itself doesn't have any fragrance when I apply it, but by morning my face smells like it has fake tanner on it, which is interesting. That smell washes off with the product. Also, if you happen to get any of it on your lips, it has a very sour taste.

My story with the Caffeine Solution is similar. I purchased this stuff myself from Well.ca ($10 off with code brutallyhonestbeauty), and had it shipped to my sister in Canada along with a few other products from The Ordinary. I'd read a few brief reviews from people who said it really helped with their dark circles, but apparently I didn't pay close attention, or I would have known it wasn't likely to help me. It works by constricting blood vessels to reduce puffiness and it also reduces dark pigmentation under the eyes. My dark circles are not caused by either of those things--instead, the skin under my eyes is translucent, which makes it look purple-blue. (You can see what I mean here.) In addition, quite the opposite of puffy, my undereye area is somewhat sunken (you can see here). So in fact, I would benefit more from increased puffiness and pigment, not the opposite!

But I tried the serum anyway for about a week, since I had it, after all. I was curious. It didn't improve my dark circles, as I should have expected. I don't know if it made the sunken, shriveled skin under my eyes worse, but it certainly didn't help. Let me advise you to READ THE FUCKING PRODUCT DESCRIPTION BEFORE YOU BUY SOMETHING. Honestly, I don't think there are any products other than concealer out there that can help my ghoulish blue circles, though I'm trying some eye patches to see if they will plump up the skin temporarily (recommended by Mimi from Makeup Withdrawal).

The texture of the Caffeine Solution is lovely, by the way, in case it's the kind of thing that might be of use to you. It's a thin serum that absorbs quickly. The bottle ought to last forever, because you'll only need a drop max for each eye.

I need to stop using things simply because I'm intrigued by reviews, and think carefully about what will actually benefit my skin. I do that most of the time, but my curiosity got the better of me this time. The Ordinary is an interesting line of products, and I have a few more to test out in the coming months. It's a cheap way to try fairly basic formulations and ingredients and to rule out what doesn't work for you (I guess I've accomplished that), which can be difficult to do with more complex, often more expensive, products. I haven't done a price-per-ounce analysis here, and I might attempt one in the future, though I'm not sure exactly what would be best to compare these types of products to. Suggestions?

Have any of you have good luck with skincare from The Ordinary?

(I really would like to get up to two posts a week, instead of just one, but I haven't quite got the hang of my new schedule. Working on it!)

ULTA Holographic Eye & Cheek Palette: My alternative to the Kat Von D Alchemist and Anastasia Beverly Hills Moonchild Palettes (and all the others)

Affiliate Links

This is really just a post about something fun and shiny I've been playing with lately. Tons of photos, so be prepared! I got this Holographic Eye & Cheek Palette recently using some ULTA points (it's normally $16, but on sale for $8 right now). I'd been moving the Kat Von D Alchemist palette in and out of my Sephora cart for a few months. I love anything duochrome or shifty, but I had a hard time justifying $32 when I don't wear noticeable highlighter very often, and I doubted how much I'd actually use it as an eyeshadow transformer. I'm more of a 1-2 shades of eyeshadow person. For while I considered the BH Cosmetics Blacklight Highlight Palette, which contains 6 huge pans of iridescent highlighter for $17--but then I remembered that I was trying to minimize the amount of makeup I traveled with, and carting around an enormous highlighter supply probably wouldn't help me achieve that goal. (I'm not going to do a whole price-per-ounce analysis right now, but I can tell you that in the BH palette, you'll get a lot more product than in the ULTA palette for close to the same price, and in the KVD palette you'll get significantly less for twice the cost.)

So I settled on this ULTA option, in part because of my points, and in part because I've had good luck with ULTA brand products in the past. I think they're pretty underrated--the eyeliners are particularly great--and they always have some sort of sale on the store brand, so that you should never have to pay full price for anything.

As it turns out, I'm very happy that I bought this palette and equally happy that I didn't buy Alchemist, because while it's a lot of fun to play with, my predictions about how I would or wouldn't use it were accurate.

ULTA's Holographic Eye & Cheek Palette includes, as you can see, four iridescent, shifty, sheer highlighters. Have another look at the pans, and then I'll show about a million swatches after the cut.

It looks really pretty in the bathroom lighting, ok?

Butter London Glazen Eye Gloss 50% off today

Affiliate Links

I have a real post almost finished that should go up later today, but in the meantime, I wanted to alert you to just about the only interesting thing I've seen so far in the ULTA 21 days of beauty sale, which is the Butter London Glazen Eye Gloss, which is on sale for $12. I have the shade Oil Slick (below, swatches here), and it's great. Have any of you tried the other colors? I'm tempted.

Well this is now officially the messiest makeup product I own. . #makeuplove #beauty #makeup #eyeshadow#makeupstash #bblogger #bbloggers #instabeauty#beautyblog #beautyblogs #beautyblogger #beautybloggers #butterlondon #duochrome #oilslick #glitter #shimmer

A post shared by Lyn (brutally honest beauty) (@brutallyhonestbeauty) on Aug 16, 2017 at 9:37am PDT

Thoughts on skincare, aging, and indulgence

A post shared by Lyn (brutally honest beauty) (@brutallyhonestbeauty) on Aug 24, 2017 at 9:52am PDT

A recent move from Michigan to Texas (which is my excuse for the prolonged hiatus here) has me thinking a lot of about skincare, beginning with how I need to adjust my usual routine to suit the new climate I'm now living in. Thinking about my goals and preferences when it comes to looking after my skin leads to all sorts of other tangential pondering about skincare in general. For instance, my skin has actually been quite good since I arrived at my new (temporary) home, and yet I'm still motivated to use all sorts of products and to try new things.

And what exactly constitutes "good skin" anyway? Or "good enough" (if such a thing exists)? For instance, I haven't been breaking out much, to the extent that I was a bit surprised to get my period, since I hadn't had my usual harbinger of cystic chin acne this month. So less acne = good, for me, ok. The texture of my skin has also been pretty nice: soft and smooth, pores aren't too enlarged. So I guess those are also things that matter to me for some reason.

On the other hand, I've been noticing lines more, whether or not they are more pronounced than they used to be or it's just because I don't have other issues to distract me from them. In a particularly ridiculous moment, I found myself browsing Instagram for closeups of faces of women younger than me to confirm that the wrinkles under my eyes weren't abnormal.

Skincare is obviously a hobby and a fascination for me, but I don't approach it without a generous amount of ambivalence. When you start looking at skincare products and reading about skincare routines, you realize that if you adhere strictly to much of the advice out there, you'll discover that there is apparently not a single person on the planet whose face doesn't have a flaw to fix. Whatever happened to "normal" skin? We're too oily or too dry--or both. Too much redness or dark spots. Pores are too big or too much acne. Too flaky or too shiny or not shiny ("dewey") enough. Too saggy or not soft enough. Too light or too dark. Too dull and not bright enough. Too many lines or too much puffiness. It's endless. It can be really hard to conclude that your skin is just fine.

Even our old gurus, like Paula Begoun for instance, who used to say that "not everyone needs a moisturizer," are going to try to sell us all moisturizers (and eye creams and essences . . . ). I'm not immune to this. When I was younger, I never used moisturizer, and my skin felt fine. Now I moisturize with different products a couple of times a day. Sure, skin often gets drier as we age, but do I really need all that? Or have I just got used to it? My mother almost never moisturizes, and her skin is neither dry nor oily. Again, remember "normal" skin?

But I have all these products, and they're fun to use (most of the time) so I use them. The pleasure we derive from our beauty routines isn't a bad thing. It's no more frivolous to have this as a hobby than to tinker with cars or knit or play video games. But it's a slippery slope from hobby into luxury and self-care. These are not always bad things either. Getting myself ready for work in the morning could be considered a form of self-care, because I get to sit quietly for 20 or 30 minutes and carry out my routine and start the day in a less stressed and more focused state of mind. But I think there's a difference between that and feeling like my problems can be alleviated with a little consumerism and that if I've had a rough time I deserve to treat myself to a new purchase. (I've written about self-care and consumerism before, and also see this Buzzfeed article about self-care and influencers.)

I try not to judge people who collect things, whether they're Funko dolls or exfoliants. But outside of those people who have the disposable income to collect one of every enticing skincare product, there's definitely some worrying overconsumption happening. Again, I'm not immune or exempt from this--I am quite aware of how much perishable shit I own, because I had to pack it up and move it with me across the country (THREE backups of PC 2% BHA liquid? Really, bitch?). If you follow skincare enthusiasts (or collectors, as you could call them) on Instagram, however, you're likely to be confronted with #shelfies of dozens of products and to see their morning and evening routines consisting of 5-8 products each, which change significantly every day. Again, they're obviously having fun, but seeing that over and over can create the impression that a "proper" skincare routine requires a lot of purchasing.

There are also, of course, the trendy and exorbitantly-priced products and brands that tend to appear regularly in these photos alongside glowing reviews. I've found, nevertheless, that there's little correlation between effectiveness and price when it comes to skincare. Some expensive things are great, and some are terrible. Some cheap things are great, and some are terrible. But the self-care, "treat yourself" mentality suggests that you're doing it better if you buy something luxurious (i.e. pricey) than merely something that's effective and pleasant to use, but cheap. In reality, you can have beautiful, well-cared-for skin (according to whatever definition you choose) even if you only own a handful of affordable products. Say sunscreen, moisturizer, and a serum in the morning, and cleanser, exfoliant, and moisturizer in the evening. Or less. Maybe you don't need to moisturize!

Returning again to that definition of good skin, it's a tricky concept. Most skincare products seem designed to do one of two things: to make skin "clearer" (less red, smoother, smaller pores, fewer pimples) or to reverse/prevent aging (again with the pores, fewer lines, tighter skin, fewer dark spots, etc.). Obviously there is significant overlap between these categories. But I wonder, did you ever notice someone's pores before you got interested in skincare? Did you ever notice your own pores? All faces have pores of varying sizes! Try looking at images of beautiful celebrities that aren't airbrushed to death and allow yourself to feel some relief that porelessness is not an achievable (or desirable!) goal.

Natalie Portman, Hollywood Reporter, May 2015

Saffron Burrows in Mozart in the Jungle

Anti-aging rhetoric is even more insidious and polarizing. (Allure magazine recently made the choice to cut it out.) A lot of the things we try to "fix" with skincare are things that happen naturally and inevitably to our skin as we age. And there are a lot of factors that affect them other than which or how many skincare products you use: genetics, skin type, time spent in the sun, environment, stress, and so on. What's wrong with looking your age anyway? Part of the problem is that it's hard to know exactly what "looking your age" means, because we are now used to seeing celebrities in their 70s who look younger than Audrey Hepburn did when she died at 63, because of all the subtle (or not-so-subtle) clinical procedures they've had done. And increasing use of sunscreen, probably. There's also the gendered/sexist aspect of anti-aging pressure, which tells us that men look better with a few wrinkles and women don't. Women don't get to be rugged. So when I slather on the sunscreen every day, there's a part of me that feels shitty for buying into all of that (I could pretend I'm doing it solely to prevent skin cancer, but let's be real--plus that doesn't explain the rest of my skincare hoard).

So all this rambling thought leaves me wondering why exactly I enjoy playing around with skincare products as much as I do when the whole concept can be so fraught. I have to admit to myself that vanity is a part of it, but I don't think that explains it all, because if I really just wanted to look better, surely I'd learn to style my fucking hair already.

I've narrowed it down to two other things: science and control. I like that skincare is a kind of experiment I can perform on myself. I like learning about all the many ingredients out there and what they can and can't and might do. I'm a researcher by profession and by nature. I especially like debunking the bullshit claims that brands and their devotees make--that's really what got me interested in all of it in the first place (see, again, Paula Begoun).

But another motivation that's been increasingly evident for me is the desire to try to exert control over some aspect of my life. That's something most of us need, and if, like me, you've been on the academic (or any!) job market during in the last decade, you might feel it more than others. I can't control what I will be doing or where I will be living or how I will be living a year or even 6 months from now, most of the time, but maybe I can control what happens to my face. (Maybe I can't. But it's somehow gratifying to try.) This is different from my interest in makeup, which I see as more of a low-stakes, low-energy creative outlet.

Anyway, if you've managed to follow my stream of consciousness here, I'd love to hear your perspective. Do you even give a shit about skincare? (I don't assume that everyone who reads here does.) Why or why not? Are your feelings conflicted at all, like mine clearly are? If so, what is it that bothers you the most about the marketing and conversation and media that surrounds skincare? If you're 100% into the whole skincare thing, what is it about it that fascinates you?

To reference an outdated meme, [my] fave is problematic.

(I'm also open to suggestions for adjusting routines to hotter and/or dryer climates. Ahem.)