Battle of the fairly-quick-dry topcoats: NYC Grand Central Station ($2) vs. Orly Polishield ($10)

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.
I love quick dry topcoat. So much. I'm pretty sure that discovering Seche Vite is the main thing that enabled me to become a nail polish hoarder.

Okay, maybe I need to rethink my love for it.

But until two or three years ago, I had no idea there was a way to paint your nails without having to sit around completely still for 45 minutes afterwards and then still wake up the next morning with the impression of your pillowcase on at least three fingers. Patience is not one of my great virtues, nor is memory. As in remembering that I just fucking painted my nails and so now is not a good time to anything at all.

The most convenient quick dry top coats that I've tried can be applied within minutes (or even seconds) of the last coat of color, and it will dry to the touch in less than 5 minutes. In less than 10, you can zip your jeans on or off, wash dishes, open beer cans, etc., without any damage. Living the dream. I've tried a shitload of different brands, and my favorite one was Butter London's - but since it is exorbitantly, horrifyingly expensive, Sally Hansen's is a very close second. Poshe is also good. Seche Vite works fast and is very shiny, but causes too much shrinkage, in my opinion. Nubar's Diamont is shitty.

DIY matte top coat for your nails (from The Daily Varnish)

Is there anything cornstarch can't do? Check out the instructions here.

Gel Manicure Starter Kit for Less Than Half Price ($30)

If you've been wanting to try one of those at home gel manicure kits, you can get the Red Carpet Manicure Gel Polish Pro Kit for $30 by following these instructions. This deal only works for new customers of Drugstore.com, but if you're not new, you can still get the kit for half price ($40).

It includes the following:

• Professional LED Light - LED gel-curing light (AC power cord adapter included)
• Prep - Max adhesion prep
• Structure - Base Coat Gel
• Brilliance - Seal & shine top coat gel
• Revitalize - Nourishing cuticle oil
• Purify - Pre & post application cleanser
• Erase - Gel nail polish remover
• RCM instructions card

Don't forget to use Ebates to get an extra 6% cash back too (here's my invite link).

Personally, I change my nail polish so fucking often that I don't want it want it to last for weeks! But I've heard good things about these kits, if you are looking for long wear.

Review: Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream, Part II

Disclosure: I got these products free from BzzAgent.
Final Thoughts:

Here is my hand and nails after using this hand cream exclusively, two or more times a day, for about 10 days. I took this immediately after applying the cream.

Smoother, but still the same peeling nails and hangnails.

Better, but the poor quality of this photo also sort of airbrushes out some of the problems. It's hard to photograph your own dominant hand! Why did I decide to do that? Here is the before shot, for reference.

This is what my tube says on the back: It is so concentrated that only a small amount instantly leaves dry, cracked hands noticeably softer and smoother after just one application. Used daily, it heals and helps keep dry skin from returning.

So what do I think about that? Well, a small amount did make my hands feel "noticeably" smoother after the first use, but it wasn't because my skin itself was softer. It just left a smooth film on the surface. It never felt greasy, though, which I appreciated. I could pretty much immediately go about my business without feeling like my hands were slick and gross. The unscented variety was also truly unscented - another plus. No smell at all. The original variety, which has scent, is very, very subtle. Unless you are extremely sensitive to fragrance, you should be fine with that one too.

After several days, it did improve my skin, but no better than any other hand cream I've used. I never really felt like my hands were being deeply moisturized. They remained kind of shriveled and almost calloused feeling, though my cuticles improved. So I don't know what I think about the use of the word "heals" here. That's just what my hands are like in the middle of winter, and this didn't fix it. After a few days, I wished that my testing period was over so that I could go back to my old hand cream. This just wasn't doing it for me.

The other marketing claim that the Neutrogena campaign put out was that this would "extend the life of manicures". I'm not sure exactly what that means. It certainly didn't make my nail polish stay on any longer than usual. And my nails still broke and peeled just as much as they usually do. So I'm going to say it failed on that account.

I wonder if this stuff would work better in a more humid environment. If one of the ways glycerin works is by attracting moisture from the environment, it wouldn't have had much opportunity to do so, in the parched, furnace-heated air of my house in the winter. Maybe that's why the Norwegian fishermen were more into it than I was.

Overall, this is a decent product. Not great, but fine. I think it would work well in conjunction with another hand cream, but I would prefer to just use a single product that smoothes the surface of my skin AND provides moisture that soaks in. I'll be going back to my trusty Avon lotion. But if you're not already using something that works well, this could be an upgrade.

I'd give Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Your Claws: Cheap Gold Flake Look

So, the thing this winter seems to be topcoat with flakes of real gold leaf in it. There's one from OPI, one from Zoya, one from Sephora by OPI, etc. They're pretty, but I'm never going to spend $30 on a bottle on nail polish. I'm probably never going to spend $15 on one. So I found a way to get a similar look for much cheaper.

Your Claws: Cuticle Cleaning Brush

I got the e.l.f. $1 concealer brush, because I'd read that it was what a bunch of nail polish bloggers used to clean up around their cuticles after painting their nails. I didn't have much confidence in my abilities, but it turns out that this is really fucking easy to do.

You just dip this little brush in some nail polish remover and swipe it back and forth around your cuticles. It makes everything neat and pretty. And you don't really need a steady hand, because you can just sort of use the cuticle as a guide. My non-dominant hand looks better, but the other one is pretty damned good too. Lots of bloggers use 100% acetone to do this, which might be faster, but I just used regular remover, and it was good enough.

Here's my attempt at one of those pretty nail photos. Um, not great, but it'll do.

While you're at it, you should really pick up this Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear polish in The Real Teal. It's one of my favorites, ever. Look at the shimmer!

You can get it at most drugstores/grocery stores/big box department stores (is that how we categorize Target etc.?) for around $3.

Your Claws: Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear Nail Polish

Really fucking cheap (usually under $3 a bottle), 3-free, fantastic colors, good brushes, awesome formula. That’s really all there is to say. It really rivals any of the higher-end polishes I’ve tried.

These are the colors I have (those teals are totally different, okay!?):

From left to right: Caribbean Coral 36, Red Carpet 390, Purple Pizzazz 490, Lacey Lilac 270, Pacific Blue 420, Marine Scene 19, The Real Teal 39, and Going Green 430.

I love them all, but Red Carpet and Purple Pizzazz are especially cool.

Disclosure: This post contains an affiliate link.