2019 No Buy

As auxiliary beauty recently noted, it seems like everyone is doing a No Buy this year, or at least this month. I'm curious to see if this is the beginning of a trend toward less consumerism, as people are becoming more aware of and frustrated with the role of money in politics and the increasing threat of climate change, etc.--or if it's just temporary fatigue after a year or two of seemingly endless product releases and shiny new things. I guess it will take a while to see how things shake out once the New Year's resolution season is over.

For me, it's a combination of both. I am really at the point where I can't think of anything else I want, much less need. I probably have more makeup right now than I could use in a lifetime, even if none of it was going to go bad. For skincare I'm all set too. I'm sick of filling bins with empty plastic containers (even though I know that the waste I create as an individual is minuscule in the larger scheme, and making people feel personally responsible for environmental damage is a distraction from the industrial and corporate entities that are creating the vast majority of it). I also question how much of my money I want to give to Ronald Lauder, for example--even though, again, my occasional purchase or lack of a purchase won't ever register among the billions that people like him have in the bank.

Mostly, buying more and more shit just doesn't feel like me. I think there's a hereditary aspect to my hoarding, but I'm pretty good at avoiding it in other areas of my life. (Moving on a yearly basis--or even more often!--also helps.) I started collecting nail polish while I was in grad school, when I had limited (but sufficient) income and was pretty stressed out. Nail polish was something small and affordable and entirely unrelated to my work that I could enjoy. I moved on from there to makeup and skincare. It's similar to the broader economic phenomenon in which sales of lipstick or nail polish increase during a recession, when we still want little treats but can't afford much. And guess what? It's five years later and I still have a modest, unstable income and a lot of stress. It's enough already.

When I started this blog, it was to point out good deals and to investigate whether various products were "worth it" (a subjective concept, for sure!). I am the person who recommended using a light, shimmery eyeshadow as a face highlighter, instead of buying a separate product (remember when it was 2013 and we still had to explain what contouring was?). Now how many highlighters do I own? (Not that many, I suppose, but more than none.) I still haven't become someone who buys the latest trendy thing as soon as it appears, and I've never made Rouge at Sephora or Diamond at ULTA, but I have become someone who buys more beauty products than a single human with one face really needs.

So I'm going to stop buying, and we tend to call that a No Buy in the "beauty community." I don't usually commit to projects like this, just like I don't diet, because I find that it's easy to get obsessive and that following restrictive, dogmatic regimens can easily backfire. But since I don't want to buy anything anyway, I think I might as well do it consciously and mindfully (there's a word that's over-used).

Doing this deliberately requires some rules, or at least guidelines, besides "just don't buy shit." Again, I don't really like arbitrary rules, but I guess the alternative would be to end up buying something, decide I've violated the whole premise of the exercise, and just start shopping mindlessly again. This is where I'd love to hear about your experiences and advice.

I like the idea of "replacement only," which I know is how lots of people frame it. But what does that mean, exactly? For instance, I am currently using an eyebrow pencil that I really like. In general I prefer pencils to other eyebrow products. When it's empty, do I permit myself to replace it with another pencil? Or should I then try to use a couple of pomade/cream brow products I already have, which are perfectly functional, just not my favorite? You don't have to answer that question specifically, but it's the kind of thing I'm pondering. In general, I plan on only buying staples like concealer, mascara, or skincare products with specific ingredients that are important to me. I certainly won't find myself finishing an eyeshadow or a lipstick and not having anything already in my hoard that can replace it.

Also, do I need to set a timeframe? Currently I'm thinking this will continue indefinitely, but is that unrealistic? I don't like the idea of counting down to a date when I can buy something again.

Finally, no more buying things "for the blog." I've never bought things that I didn't think I would eventually use just to blog about them (at least, not that I remember), but I have definitely bought things that I don't need right now because I thought they would make interesting blog posts. I have enough shit at the moment that has never appeared on the blog, and I'm busy enough that my blogging schedule is sporadic, at best, so I'm not going to run out of content any time soon. (I will accept free products from brands if they are things I actually want to try. That has only happened  a few times in all the years I've been blogging.) I also want to start posting on my ancient beauty blog again, because I'm working on an article, and I think doing so will help me make my way through the research.

So what do you think? Do I need more rules? Are you conscientiously limiting your beauty purchases, or restricting your budget in another area more this year than you have in the past? Is it purely for financial reasons, or do you have other motivations? I'm curious to hear how many other people are riding this train right now, and how you conceive of what you're doing!

I'll be updating with my thoughts on all this as time goes by both here and on Instagram.

How to not buy makeup (from Auxiliary Beauty)

Wow, it's been longer than I thought since I posted here. A lot has happened--moving, traveling, starting a new job, multiple bureaucratic nightmares (by the way, "bureaucratic" is on my list of words I can never, ever spell)--leaving no time for blogging. I hope to be back in control of my time soon. In the meantime, read this post about how to avoid buying more shit you don't need even when you are mightily tempted because everything is shit, by the ever-brilliant Auxiliary Beauty.

Psychotic skincare

I just read this article from The Outline that's going around, and my eyes rolled back so far that I think they're permanently stuck back there. It is not wrong about some things? Sure. There's no such thing as perfect skin; women are disproportionately pressured to improve the condition of their skin; and skincare obsession can become an excuse for hyper-consumption and wealth display (I've actually written about that before). But other parts of the article are, to paraphrase, fucking psychotic--it's the typical backlash that you tend to get against typically feminine consumerism (or feminine pursuits in general). You know, where the misogyny is disguised as some sort of feminism. And I'm saying that as someone who fully acknowledges that there is A LOT of bullshit out there when it comes to beauty marketing.

Anyway, there were too many individual lines that had me groaning to quote them all here, but if one in particular stands out to you, please comment on it below. Or if you agree with some or all of the article--either way, I'd love to hear other people's thoughts! I'm still mulling it all over and sighing.

(Ok, just one. The whole "skin has survived forever, why are we doing stuff to it now?" is a lot like the old "women have been giving birth forever, why do they need hospitals now?" Groan.)

Thoughts on skincare, aging, and indulgence

A post shared by Lyn (brutally honest beauty) (@brutallyhonestbeauty) on Aug 24, 2017 at 9:52am PDT

A recent move from Michigan to Texas (which is my excuse for the prolonged hiatus here) has me thinking a lot of about skincare, beginning with how I need to adjust my usual routine to suit the new climate I'm now living in. Thinking about my goals and preferences when it comes to looking after my skin leads to all sorts of other tangential pondering about skincare in general. For instance, my skin has actually been quite good since I arrived at my new (temporary) home, and yet I'm still motivated to use all sorts of products and to try new things.

And what exactly constitutes "good skin" anyway? Or "good enough" (if such a thing exists)? For instance, I haven't been breaking out much, to the extent that I was a bit surprised to get my period, since I hadn't had my usual harbinger of cystic chin acne this month. So less acne = good, for me, ok. The texture of my skin has also been pretty nice: soft and smooth, pores aren't too enlarged. So I guess those are also things that matter to me for some reason.

On the other hand, I've been noticing lines more, whether or not they are more pronounced than they used to be or it's just because I don't have other issues to distract me from them. In a particularly ridiculous moment, I found myself browsing Instagram for closeups of faces of women younger than me to confirm that the wrinkles under my eyes weren't abnormal.

Skincare is obviously a hobby and a fascination for me, but I don't approach it without a generous amount of ambivalence. When you start looking at skincare products and reading about skincare routines, you realize that if you adhere strictly to much of the advice out there, you'll discover that there is apparently not a single person on the planet whose face doesn't have a flaw to fix. Whatever happened to "normal" skin? We're too oily or too dry--or both. Too much redness or dark spots. Pores are too big or too much acne. Too flaky or too shiny or not shiny ("dewey") enough. Too saggy or not soft enough. Too light or too dark. Too dull and not bright enough. Too many lines or too much puffiness. It's endless. It can be really hard to conclude that your skin is just fine.

Even our old gurus, like Paula Begoun for instance, who used to say that "not everyone needs a moisturizer," are going to try to sell us all moisturizers (and eye creams and essences . . . ). I'm not immune to this. When I was younger, I never used moisturizer, and my skin felt fine. Now I moisturize with different products a couple of times a day. Sure, skin often gets drier as we age, but do I really need all that? Or have I just got used to it? My mother almost never moisturizes, and her skin is neither dry nor oily. Again, remember "normal" skin?

But I have all these products, and they're fun to use (most of the time) so I use them. The pleasure we derive from our beauty routines isn't a bad thing. It's no more frivolous to have this as a hobby than to tinker with cars or knit or play video games. But it's a slippery slope from hobby into luxury and self-care. These are not always bad things either. Getting myself ready for work in the morning could be considered a form of self-care, because I get to sit quietly for 20 or 30 minutes and carry out my routine and start the day in a less stressed and more focused state of mind. But I think there's a difference between that and feeling like my problems can be alleviated with a little consumerism and that if I've had a rough time I deserve to treat myself to a new purchase. (I've written about self-care and consumerism before, and also see this Buzzfeed article about self-care and influencers.)

I try not to judge people who collect things, whether they're Funko dolls or exfoliants. But outside of those people who have the disposable income to collect one of every enticing skincare product, there's definitely some worrying overconsumption happening. Again, I'm not immune or exempt from this--I am quite aware of how much perishable shit I own, because I had to pack it up and move it with me across the country (THREE backups of PC 2% BHA liquid? Really, bitch?). If you follow skincare enthusiasts (or collectors, as you could call them) on Instagram, however, you're likely to be confronted with #shelfies of dozens of products and to see their morning and evening routines consisting of 5-8 products each, which change significantly every day. Again, they're obviously having fun, but seeing that over and over can create the impression that a "proper" skincare routine requires a lot of purchasing.

There are also, of course, the trendy and exorbitantly-priced products and brands that tend to appear regularly in these photos alongside glowing reviews. I've found, nevertheless, that there's little correlation between effectiveness and price when it comes to skincare. Some expensive things are great, and some are terrible. Some cheap things are great, and some are terrible. But the self-care, "treat yourself" mentality suggests that you're doing it better if you buy something luxurious (i.e. pricey) than merely something that's effective and pleasant to use, but cheap. In reality, you can have beautiful, well-cared-for skin (according to whatever definition you choose) even if you only own a handful of affordable products. Say sunscreen, moisturizer, and a serum in the morning, and cleanser, exfoliant, and moisturizer in the evening. Or less. Maybe you don't need to moisturize!

Returning again to that definition of good skin, it's a tricky concept. Most skincare products seem designed to do one of two things: to make skin "clearer" (less red, smoother, smaller pores, fewer pimples) or to reverse/prevent aging (again with the pores, fewer lines, tighter skin, fewer dark spots, etc.). Obviously there is significant overlap between these categories. But I wonder, did you ever notice someone's pores before you got interested in skincare? Did you ever notice your own pores? All faces have pores of varying sizes! Try looking at images of beautiful celebrities that aren't airbrushed to death and allow yourself to feel some relief that porelessness is not an achievable (or desirable!) goal.

Natalie Portman, Hollywood Reporter, May 2015

Saffron Burrows in Mozart in the Jungle

Anti-aging rhetoric is even more insidious and polarizing. (Allure magazine recently made the choice to cut it out.) A lot of the things we try to "fix" with skincare are things that happen naturally and inevitably to our skin as we age. And there are a lot of factors that affect them other than which or how many skincare products you use: genetics, skin type, time spent in the sun, environment, stress, and so on. What's wrong with looking your age anyway? Part of the problem is that it's hard to know exactly what "looking your age" means, because we are now used to seeing celebrities in their 70s who look younger than Audrey Hepburn did when she died at 63, because of all the subtle (or not-so-subtle) clinical procedures they've had done. And increasing use of sunscreen, probably. There's also the gendered/sexist aspect of anti-aging pressure, which tells us that men look better with a few wrinkles and women don't. Women don't get to be rugged. So when I slather on the sunscreen every day, there's a part of me that feels shitty for buying into all of that (I could pretend I'm doing it solely to prevent skin cancer, but let's be real--plus that doesn't explain the rest of my skincare hoard).

So all this rambling thought leaves me wondering why exactly I enjoy playing around with skincare products as much as I do when the whole concept can be so fraught. I have to admit to myself that vanity is a part of it, but I don't think that explains it all, because if I really just wanted to look better, surely I'd learn to style my fucking hair already.

I've narrowed it down to two other things: science and control. I like that skincare is a kind of experiment I can perform on myself. I like learning about all the many ingredients out there and what they can and can't and might do. I'm a researcher by profession and by nature. I especially like debunking the bullshit claims that brands and their devotees make--that's really what got me interested in all of it in the first place (see, again, Paula Begoun).

But another motivation that's been increasingly evident for me is the desire to try to exert control over some aspect of my life. That's something most of us need, and if, like me, you've been on the academic (or any!) job market during in the last decade, you might feel it more than others. I can't control what I will be doing or where I will be living or how I will be living a year or even 6 months from now, most of the time, but maybe I can control what happens to my face. (Maybe I can't. But it's somehow gratifying to try.) This is different from my interest in makeup, which I see as more of a low-stakes, low-energy creative outlet.

Anyway, if you've managed to follow my stream of consciousness here, I'd love to hear your perspective. Do you even give a shit about skincare? (I don't assume that everyone who reads here does.) Why or why not? Are your feelings conflicted at all, like mine clearly are? If so, what is it that bothers you the most about the marketing and conversation and media that surrounds skincare? If you're 100% into the whole skincare thing, what is it about it that fascinates you?

To reference an outdated meme, [my] fave is problematic.

(I'm also open to suggestions for adjusting routines to hotter and/or dryer climates. Ahem.)

"Self care" and consumerism

I touched on some of these points a few weeks ago when I wrote about people who convince themselves that the more expensive cosmetics they buy are objectively better--or even that they themselves are better for buying them. Part of this attitude, I think, relates to a current cultural idea that we all "deserve" luxury in some form. Maybe we can't all live in huge houses, but we are still "good enough" to deserve a Tom Ford lipstick. This type of thinking is intimately connected to the self-care imperative that is becoming more and more widespread, no longer limited to Tumblr and xoJane. While I think self care is a valuable concept in some ways--especially for women, who have been taught that we have to keep on top of everything and be responsible for others in addition to, or instead of, ourselves--"self care" and "treat yourself!" have become nearly synonymous, in a creepy but unsurprisingly capitalist way. Rather than looking after ourselves by taking an hour to sit peacefully in our bedrooms reading a book, we should just buy a bottle of nail polish. There's a lot more I could say about this, but this article in The Atlantic already says it. It is very worth reading (and short!). Interestingly enough, it actually quotes Jane Marie (formerly) of Millihelen on why self care seems unachievable.